"It was hard enough to compare apples to oranges. Now I'm required to add kumquats."
"I was just so sick of slithering."
"This is the best security feature a homeowner can buy."
Group Photo of Ethics Symposium
Life Cycle of a Rich and Famous Scientist
Mathematician’s Insomnia
Save the Whales! Free Radicals!!
The Blame-O-Meter
Theories Expounded
“Are you working on the mirror image of my compound?”
“Be tough. Never let them hear you squeak.”
“Did you know that DNA spelled backwards is AND? Makes you think.”
“Do you have this grant in a larger size?”
“Don’t be absurd. If we cloned a hyena into a mad cow we’d get a laughing stock.”
“Don’t breathe a word to anyone, but I’m never leaving graduate school.”
“He put the ‘bop’ in the suboperculum.”
“I merely wanted to read books.”
“Is that how your cousin Melvin ...“The Take Your Mother to Work Program”
“It’s ten o’clock. Do you know where your research is headed?”
“I’ve come for your exciting research.”
“Mom, Dad…I just wanna thank you for your contribution of DNA.”
“No one understands me.”
“Stop being creative and discover something already.”
“Stop! Your grant is ending!”
“Sure, I got the huge staff, the huge salary, and the huge office, but…no view.”
“Thanks, but that’s not wallpaper. It’s just a bunch of differential equations.”
“That’s so cool how they convert carbon dioxide to oxygen.”
“We’re a prestigious department, yet we have only three active prima donnas.”
“…and this one is for entering an animal facility under siege.”